Ok... my nose is not missing... not yet.
However, I am afraid that I will wake up in the morning and it will be gone. In its place there will be a little yellow sticky note that says, "Sorry, I quit. Good luck!"
I won't be able to blame it for leaving. It is already sloughing off my face due to constant blowing, wiping, and sneezing. Even Puffs with lotion and constant application of face moisturizer fail to provide relief.
On top of the physical abuse to my nose I also insulted it on the way to meet friends for lunch today. I looked in the rearview mirror and told it that I was embarrassed to be seen in public with it in its red and flaky condition.
I am sure that if it could speak my nose would remind me that there are other things more embarrassing. It would remind me that Friday I took a drug test for a part time position at a local company and I had to pee in a cup and give it to a very attractive gentleman who is close to my age and finishing up his degree here on campus. Which means that I will probably run into him again and turn three shades of pink and then stammer all over myself like I did while he tried to make the whole process as funny and painless as possible.
If my nose could talk it would probably remind me of all kinds of ways I have made a fool of myself… and possibly tell others.
Not to mention it would look funny with a mouth. Which leads me to wonder, would a nose need a nose if it could speak?
.........................................Maybe I should lay off the M&Ms.
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