Call Smokey!

If you read yesterday's blog you will remember that I wished my friend Scott, the professional fire performer, safety as he played with flames. I still wish him safety but think I was the one that was receiving a warning from some unseen power.

This evening, I came home after a longer than usual day at work. I turned on the computer and then began to methodically boil frozen ravioli, bake garlic bread, and open a can of cheater sauce (I know, I know, homemade is better). At some point I set the lid to one of the pans on a burner, I set an oven mitt on top of this lid, and I turned on (what I thought was) the other burner. I then proceeded to talk to my sis, check my email and as I was playing with the TV antennae I realized that something was burning.

Not slightly burning- oh no- on fire. There was smoke billowing into my living room. I am sure I exclaimed some profanity out loud before, during and after running into the kitchen and throwing the flaming oven mitt into the sink for a dowsing of water. I also used a different oven mitt to toss the lid in the sink too. I then opened all my windows…

…to no avail.

The fire alarm went off. Not my little (yet annoyingly effective) apartment fire alarm but the building fire alarm. I quickly turned off all burners, the oven, etc, put on my shoes, made sure nothing was still flaming, and headed down 6 flights of stairs and into a crowd of neighbors; very few of whom have I actually met.

As I walked towards them I said, "It is my fault! I am sorry! I was cooking and I caught an oven mitt on fire…" We had to stand there while the loud building fire alarm (complete with flashing blue light) went on and on. I chatted with my next door neighbor, who gave me a hug. She and the guy who lives down the hall were very consoling and tried to make me feel better. I did have to declare several times to several different people in front of the crowd that yes, it was me and I caught an oven mitt on fire and yes the fire was out and no there should not be a fire in my room. This all whil everyone stood out in the cold until the firemen arrived in full garb with their sirens wailing.

I commented to a gal I was talking to that this was the most ruckus I had ever caused in my whole life (I have been a part of a bigger ruckus but that was not my fault… and it happened to involve a fire alarm as well come to think of it). I also had to announce to the fire men and all those around what apartment number I lived in so that they could locate the cause. While mentioning where I lived, I announced to the crowd that they could slide any letters of grievance under my door.

The firemen came, they went up the stairs, they came back down the stairs, they needed my key. Yes, they had axes but keys are more civilized. They went up the stairs, came back down the stairs, declared the apartment safe, and we went up the stairs. A fireman awaited me at the door and told me that I "did the right thing by getting that mitt under water." I am sure he was not trying to reassure me of my idiocy but was trying to cheer me up. I thought, "Brilliant! I remembered something I learned in kindergarten! Water puts fire out. Go me!"

As I entered my apartment, leaned my head out my door and offered my floor mates the option of using my Oust if they needed a little help getting the stench of charred 100% cotton and algodon out of their nostrils.

I had no takers. The guy down the hall laughed.

I went inside to try to eat the meal I had begun to prepare. The ravioli needed boiling, the bread wasn't done, and the sauce was still unopened.Still, in the end, I had burnt bread, and chewy ravioli with the cheese all but boiled out of it.

mmmmm… now, that was tasty.

What did I learn from this? Never ever buy the frozen round whole wheat raviolis. I think the spirits of long dead Italian chefs gathered to curse me for purchasing and then attempting to first cook and then *gasp* eat such a delicacy imposter.

On a positive note- my apartment no longer smells like fish.

I think tomorrow night, I will order delivery.

*** and yes, there is a pic of the burnt mitt on my picture site-- mwendepics***